They Told Me I Was Bipolar. Plot Twist: I’m Actually Autistic

Welp. Turns out doctors don’t always get it right the first time.

I was sixteen when they slapped that bipolar label on me. Cool story, right? Except it wasn’t actually my story at all. Years later, I found out what was really going on – I’m autistic with a side of ADHD.

Here’s the thing: I’m not some unicorn case. Doctors are out here mixing up autism and bipolar in women like they’re playing diagnostic bingo. And sure, everyone’s talking mental health these days, but that doesn’t mean they’re getting it right. Too many of us are spending years on the wrong meds, getting the wrong treatment, all because autism looks different in women than it does in men.

So yeah, I’m opening up about my journey from “definitely bipolar” to “actually autistic.” Whether you’re side-eyeing your own diagnosis or just trying to make sense of this whole mess, stick around. We’re about to dive into why doctors keep getting it twisted and what you can do about it.

Spoiler alert: It’s about to get interesting.

That “Perfect” Girl? Yeah, She Might Be Autistic

Spoiler: We’re really good at faking “normal.”

Listen up, because this is where it gets wild. That whole “autism looks like Rain Man” thing? Total BS when it comes to women. We’re out here playing social chameleon like it’s our job.

Here’s what’s actually going down behind that “perfect” mask:

We’re basically method actors, studying everyone else just to seem “normal”
Teacher’s pet at school, total meltdown the second we hit home
Girl squad drama? Might as well be speaking Klingon
“No” is apparently a complete sentence, but we didn’t get the memo
Dating? More like “what the actual f*ck is happening right now?”

The kicker? All this pretending comes with a price tag. We’re talking soul-crushing exhaustion from trying to be someone else 24/7. As one of us put it (I felt this in my bones): “It’s like being in a play where everyone else got the script except you.”

And here’s where it gets really fun – teachers and doctors? They’re looking right past us. Because apparently if you can string a sentence together and didn’t fail math, you can’t possibly be autistic. Eye roll.

The worst part? They see a quiet, well-behaved girl and think “Oh how sweet!” Meanwhile, we’re over here struggling to figure out if that guy at work is being friendly or creepy.

Welp. No wonder we’re all exhausted.

When Doctors Play Mental Health Bingo

Surprise! Your exhaustion from pretending to be “normal” looks a lot like bipolar to them.

Y’all, the numbers are wild – 13.5 out of 14 women with undiagnosed autism hit anxiety red flags. But here’s the real tea: it’s not because we’re bipolar. It’s because we’re tired AF from playing neurotypical charades.

Why do doctors keep getting it wrong? Let me count the ways:

Can’t read social vibes if our life depended on it
Exhausted from our Oscar-worthy “normal person” performance
Emotional needs? Might as well be speaking Martian
Friend group? More like watching everyone else have friends
Personal boundaries? What are those?

Here’s where it gets scary though. When doctors miss the autism diagnosis, we’re basically walking around with a “please take advantage of me” sign. Because guess what happens when you’re desperate to fit in but can’t read people? Nothing good, I’ll tell you that.

One of us said it best: “It’s like being in a perpetual game of Simon Says, but everyone else can hear Simon except you.” The good news? Some doctors are finally getting it together. They’re starting to realize that maybe – just maybe – our “mood swings” are actually us crashing after pretending to be someone else all day.

Mind-blowing, right?

Finally! Doctors Are Getting Their Sh*t Together

Plot twist: They’re actually learning how to spot autism in women.

Look, the medical world is finally catching up. They’ve got some fancy new tools in their diagnostic toolbox:

That anxiety-depression checklist thing (HADS)
Some questionnaire about general health vibes (GHQ-12)
Fancy reading test that makes you feel like you’re back in school (WTAR)
Actually talking to us about how we deal with people (shocking, I know)

Doctors are finally realizing that we’re not just “male autism wearing a dress.” Turns out, we’re better at faking normal than our guy counterparts. Who knew?

The best part? They’re starting to get that our Oscar-worthy performances of “normal human doing normal things” isn’t actually… normal. It’s exhausting AF, and now they’re actually looking for that exhaustion instead of just throwing bipolar meds at us.

Some doctors are getting special training to spot autism in women. Like, they actually learn about how we mask and struggle with sensory stuff and boundaries. Revolutionary, right? The times, they are a-changing. And maybe – just maybe – the next generation won’t have to wait until they’re whole adults with relationships and families to figure out why they’ve always felt like an alien pretending to be human.

The Plot Twist That Changed Everything

Sometimes the happy ending is just getting the right diagnosis.

So here’s the thing about my sixteen-year-old “bipolar” self – she wasn’t wrong, she was just autistic. And turns out, that’s a pretty common plot twist for a lot of us. Here’s what I learned along the way:

We’re basically chameleons, blending in so well we fool even ourselves
That “bipolar” exhaustion? Yeah, that’s just us being tired of pretending
Doctors finally got some new tricks up their sleeves
Finding out you’re actually autistic? Game-changer, my friends

Look, the medical world is slowly getting its act together. Instead of playing “pin the diagnosis on the woman,” they’re actually looking at the whole picture now. Wild concept, right?

Real talk though? Getting that autism diagnosis changed everything. Like finding out you’ve been reading the manual upside down your whole life. Sure, it’s a lot to process, but at least now the weird parts of your life finally make sense.

And if you’re sitting there thinking “but my doctor said I’m definitely bipolar” – honey, trust your gut. If something feels off about your diagnosis, it probably is. The right doctor will actually listen instead of just throwing labels at you.

Because sometimes the best ending isn’t a cure – it’s finally understanding who you actually are.

Resources

Lai MC, Baron-Cohen S. Identifying the lost generation of adults with autism spectrum conditions. Lancet Psychiatry. 2015 Nov;2(11):1013-27. doi: 10.1016/S2215-0366(15)00277-1. PMID: 26544750.

Ferri SL, Abel T, Brodkin ES. Sex Differences in Autism Spectrum Disorder: a Review. Curr Psychiatry Rep. 2018 Mar 5;20(2):9. doi: 10.1007/s11920-018-0874-2. PMID: 29504047; PMCID: PMC6477922.

Rynkiewicz A, Łucka I. Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) in girls. Co-occurring psychopathology. Sex differences in clinical manifestation. Psychiatr Pol. 2018 Aug 24;52(4):629-639. English, Polish. doi: 10.12740/PP/OnlineFirst/58837. Epub 2018 Aug 24. PMID: 30368533.

Vannucchi G, Masi G, Toni C, Dell’Osso L, Erfurth A, Perugi G. Bipolar disorder in adults with Asperger׳s Syndrome: a systematic review. J Affect Disord. 2014 Oct;168:151-60. doi: 10.1016/j.jad.2014.06.042. Epub 2014 Jul 8. PMID: 25046741.

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Phenotype